Nathan Hall's Journal

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Nathan Hall's Journal

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	2005.04.10 04.01 Organeyes Updates So not much on here yet, but have a look. If it doesn't work, go download Firefox. I have found it to be a much better web browser.



	2005.04.08 01.06 And So, My classes started recently. I guess they're going fine. Today, however, I had a class sort of bomb during a subject I felt the students would be very interested in: music. I tried to convince them that their pop music that they fancied so greatly actually all came from African Americans in the early 1900's. It's not as if the students didn't believe me; they just didn't care. It was very frustrating. I see this box around their minds and desire to just pull them out by their ears; but it's not that easy. Sometimes when I'm speaking it feels as if I'm suddenly the stereotype they were brought up to believe all foreigners are. Opinionated and different. I see this gear turn in their heads sometimes that prevents information from entering; and it happens to even the brightest. If I bring up a subject concerning Taiwan, Falong Dong, or something else 'controversial' and have a indisputable point, something just turns off and tunes out. The eyes are still looking, but no one is home. I can't explain it. When I talked about American history, I brought up Native Americans, I asked the students why they are sometimes called 'Indians' and all would answer in unison "Because they came from India". When I would start to explain that it was a mistake because of Columbus' navigational error; I can't even finish without the students taking a soma ride; blank stares, utter disinterest. It's not like the students protest: they do nothing, they lose all interest. It's like someone is holding their remote control. I would love to run an electromagnetic brainwave scan on subjects whilst telling them of truth. The schools must do something gravely misfortunate to them to make them behave in such a way. Who doesn't care that they had been lied to? Now, my readers might be thinking a few things: #1 - Q: Maybe your students are always disinterested, and Nathan just notices it when he feels his pompous information is valuable. A:I think my students, for the most part, are very interested in what I have to say. I talk about how I owned a car and they cling to my every word. It's not too difficult for a charismatic person such as myself to excel at the position of center-of-attention. #2 - Q: Isn't it dangerous to discuss topics in which the school system, controlled by the government, has already written the history in a different way than Nathan is telling it? A: I never discuss controversial subjects in my classes such as Falong Dong, Taiwan, and Tiananmen Square. These subjects I will discuss with close friends or belligerent nationalists outside the classroom. The point was made pretty strongly after I came to China that such religious, political, or sensitive issues shan't be discussed in the class. Did I give up my right to free speech? Well, even if I began to speak about such topics, the remote control would turn their brains to mashed potatoes anyway. Ok; so during the writing of these last few sentences I think I have made something sort of clear in my own mind. I am comfortable with hiding the truth from these people under an authoritarian principle to which I agreed. "Don't say anything about Jesus or the Government." "Ok, boss." I am comfortable with keeping these things to myself. What a horrible outrage! Nathan Hall Obedient! I choke at the very thought of it; but I realize - if I am this comfortable with keeping my opinions to myself after less than a year, folks that have lived here their entire lives must be dependent upon it. Just a thought. So the other day I was typing quite normal-like on my computer when I suddenly felt very bad. I felt unreasonably bad. I started to get really cold so I put on a sweater and hat, but I was still shaking. I was gripping at my arms with my head down, teeth chattering. It was moving fast, whatever it was. I crawled into my sleeping bag and drew it over my head. I then had a seizure. (Keep in mind, folks, I'm not making any of this up. I'm trying to seem non-chalant so it doesn't appear as if I'm being melodramatic.) I was shaking violently and feverishly burning with ice through my insides. My muscles and bones and tendons all felt as if they were rotting and this had all happened (from the computer to the sleeping bag) in about a minute. It was then that I knew (not thought) that I was going to die. I wasn't about to question why I was dying, I just felt it was my time, like all the people burned to death by SHC. I could control my body, but I could not control my seizure. In my last desperate moments on earth I reached for the telephone and dialed Robert; to no avail. I lay, quivering, teeth chattering like drums, and trying to fight the spasms with self-hypnosis. I thought about everything that I wish I had done before I died, but found comfort in the fact that I've done a lot of cool stuff anyway. The spasms were getting atrocious at this point and the meditation did nothing. Just then I got a knock at my door. I fell out of bed, crawling, in a last-minute redemption to dictate my Last Will and Testaments to whoever was behind this door. It was Robert. He was with his new girlfriend. "I'm having a seizure." "What?? What the fuck are you talking about?" "I'm not well..." I crawled back into bed, shaking and moaning on with it all. He gave me the whole "What's wrong" and "What can I do to help" crap... "Should we take you to a hospital?" A hospital actually would have been an alright choice, given the circumstances, but I was freezing. If I got out of the bag I would have feared frostbite. Chinese hospitals are dirty, smokey, and dark; and I felt, at that point, as if I were to die at any moment anyway, so why not die here? In my nice warm bag? The problem was, my forehead was cold, but, because of my socks, sweatpants, two sweaters, a wool hat, and a sleeping bag, my actual torso was dangerously hot. I told Robert to feel my back, and he said he could cook eggs on it. Luckily, I deciphered through the foggy chaos of my state that his new girlfriend was studying to be a doctor. She was on her cell phone with a prominent doctor of the area. She concluded the conversation and came over to give me my diagnosis. "Get a wet towel and wipe his hands and feet." Ok. So I go from a state of relative well-being to a state of life-fearing panic in 45 seconds; I'm dictating my Last Will and Testaments to my best friend on my death bed and THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE SAYS TO WIPE MY FUCKING HANDS AND FEET WITH A TOWEL???? I no longer have any faith in Eastern medicine. This is borderline Christian Science... This is absolute madness! The shakes had gone down a bit at this point, and although I felt 100% worse than I did when I was having them, I told Robert and his Scientologist girlfriend that I thought I was fine now and that they shan't look after me any longer. I was of course, thinking I needed these last few moments on Earth to myself, such as a cat might. They left after giving me some water, and I began my long and painful psychotherapeutic recovery. Alone, I felt the worse pain I have ever felt in my life (and this is coming from a guy that had a branch impale his asshole once. Yes, it was an accident.) I began repairing. I knew that I needed to stop being so cold, because I was probably, in fact, nearly dying of heat exhaustion. The insides were ice and the outsides were fire. I first made all of the movements in my body stop by concentrating and taking long, deep breathes. After a while, when I was in such a state that I could hardly move at all, I would take off an article of clothing. After about 2 hours I had removed all my clothes and switched the sleeping bag with a normal blanket. I knew that if I had done it all at once I would have went into seizure again. And that was not fun. I promise you that. The next morning, after 15 hours of sleep, I awoke fresh as a daisy. I don't know what happened, or why, but I feel it's probably God trying to tell me something. That old bastard has always had it out for me.



	2005.03.13 20.27 Another day, another way... I'm back in my lovely home now. My trip was absolutely wonderful. In retrospect, it was the best vacation I've ever had. Robert and I became better friends because of it, and I learned a valuable lesson about how fireworks are totally rad. Some cool news: My parents are coming to visit me! They should be here in about 3 months, and we'll travel around together, seeing historical things and such. I can't wait to impress them with my Chinese and knowledge of the culture. My parents have never been proud of anything that I've done until I moved to China. My father always used to yell at me for sleeping until noon and working only 8 hours a week. Now that I'm doing that in China, however, I'm suddenly King Shit. It's great. Some other cool news: The notorious Frank Santora is coming to visit me! He'll be flying into Beijing soon. I'll keep everyone posted about that, and will take lots of pictures while he's here. My friends Tyler and Ben are coming to visit me in Taiyuan! They should actually be here tomorrow morning. I'm not sure if I talked about them or not; but they were two really awesome guys from Canada that Robert and I met on our Southern Travels. Remember my last night in Kunming? Where I played the drums and knocked everyone's socks off? Anyway, they told me that they were so impressed with the concert that they wanted to come visit me. I thought they were joking until he sent me an email telling me he was arriving soon... I also signed another 6 month contract for teaching at the North University of China. This time Robert and I got a pretty sweet deal with some benefits and stuff. I started teaching a Radio and Television journalism class last Monday, and it's going really well. The students' English level is excellent, and we've been having a lot of fun. One day I bought a big bag of chocolate and told the students they could take as much as they wanted, but for each piece, they had to tell me one thing about themselves. I wrote all of this information down, and compiled a crossword puzzle, which I'll hand out on Tuesday. I've been thinking creatively about fun activities for them, and I think I'm going to help them produce a Television News program with my camera; have them go out and find hot leads, tackle some issues, and report it all in English. I'm thinking we should build a set for it as well... there's an empty apartment across the hall from mine, which could easily be converted into a sound stage. I talked to the Journalism director about this, and he says he'll be able to get me 3 or 4 cameras for the project. Should be a lot of fun. Here's another thing I've been thinking about lately - there's a job position opening for Warwick (the bass guitar and amplifier company) in China. They're looking for someone to handle quality control at their factory here. I have sent them a resume and bitch'n cover letter; so that might be a change of events in the World of Nathan. I'll keep you (whoever 'you' might be) posted. For now, I've got some episodes of Home Movies and The Critic to watch. See you Space Cowboy...



	2005.02.21 18.17 Yo dudes So I arrived in the Fuijian province a few days ago. This part of the country is pretty pricy. Our hotel at the Hump in Kunming cost Robert and I a measly 25 yuan a night whereas the hotels we've been staying at here cost us a hefty 135 a night. The pro to this is that the food here is unbelievable and we can watch DVD's in our rooms. I now have a ginormous collection of a few hundred rad movies. All pirated. I couldn't even imagine paying more than a dollar for DVD's now. It would be out of the question. Of course, I did buy my sister a few Hayao Miyazaki films for her birthday at about 22 dollars apiece. Good God that's a lot of money. For the price of the Lord of the Rings collection (not that I would bother with that rubbish) in America, you could buy yourself a brand new Honda motorcycle out here. So We're in Xiamen right now, soaking up the rays of grayness from the winter coastal skies, counting down the days until we get back to teaching. It's not as depressing as it sounds - we've got a grand plan for making craploads of money and heading down to Kunming for the job hunt in a few months. It really is that rad. My last night in Kunming I finally became the rockstar that I desperatly struggled to be (a few posts below will explain) when I first arrived to Kunming. As dramatic as this talk sounds, I can't stress enough about the magnitude of radness I endured on stage that night. It was about 5 nights ago, but it seems like just yesterday... Some choice friends of mine and Robert headed into The Speakeasy for a farewell party and drinkon. Little did I know that an open jam session was going on. So, when I walked into the bar and heard the distinct freqencies only bass, guitar and drums can fulfill, I was immediately pulled forward forward forward as the magnetic strain of rock and roll tends to inflict upon a true connoisseur. I made my way to the only available instrument - the bongos. Ok, ok, the bongos weren't going to cut it. The drummer on the set was all over the place. I had met him before. He was a pompous nitwit that played a show sponsered by Mapex drums at the Hump. He was tuning the drums and beating on them and tuning and beating and tuning and beating, and the douchebag did this for 2 days straight. I'm not even making this up. I'm not Geoffrey Chaucer - I don't tell stories. So as he was in the midst of his tuning and his beating of these fine Mapex drums, I asked if I could play them breifly. I hadn't played drums in months. He kept telling me, "In a few minutes" or some horseshit like that. Real pompous. He did these crappy ass jazz fills over and over and over again. He couldn't even form a solid rhythm because his stupid ego was in the way. So that dude was the dude on the drums at that point. All the musicians were looking at him trying to pick up a bit of rhythm, but as soon as it was there, the drums would bleed into this bizarre rolling of the snare and toms in a ridiculous display of this guy's "talents". So finally I switched to the bass and another drummer got on, who, thank God, had a better sense of rhythm than he did. We tottled around with that monkey business for a few more minutes as people in the bar just paid good attention to their conversations and drinking. Then, my friends, the time came for Nathan Hall to get on the drums. Now, I know what you're thinking - "How can Nathan critisize a guy for being an egomaniac when he himself talks as if he's King Shit?" Well, I shall try and explain in laymen's terms. There is a vast difference between egotism and arrogance. Putting the Great Buddha's definition of ego aside, I will characterize this distinction by saying egotism is beliving in what you can do without self doubt or modesty, and arrogance as a mere push for attention based on false pretexts from previous complements. OK. Lets just say this - people who have no talent on a subject can easily complement a person who is mildly talented. I knew a dumbass back in High School who could play a bit of Nirvana on the guitar and everyone thought he was Mr. Bigdick because he played something that they had heard before and I just play weird hypnotic improvisations. Putting that artist's struggle behind us however, we will find that after I got on the drums with a microphone, a decent bass player and guitarist, I, my friends, was King Shit. After the first improvisation with indecent lyrics there was finally some applause and attention in the place. 5 songs later and 50 people are going nuts on the dance floor screaming their heads off for more. I shit you not people - read the newspapers (the Chinese ones). Robert shall testify if you doubt my competence on the subject of rocking people's socks off. No one can touch me. I should like to leave you with this thought, mine brethren. Until next communication, Natha*n



	2005.02.04 13.24 Pizza So I'm in a pizza restaurant right now waiting for my food. Yesterday I got a bit sick and was unable to keep anything down so I'm now famished. Back at The Hump we've met some rad people to talk to. We're at Wei's Pizzeria with two gals from Wales and a dude from New York that's filming a movie out here. A documentary. Basically he'll get people in a political discussion and record all the shitty things people say about Bush, and it'll be on Woodstock (New York) television in a few months. There's of course the obligitory Bush supporter (i.e. retard) who just gets hammered. Good times, good times. Tonight there's tons to do and I'm gonna do it. My coconut milkshake is here so I'm gonna bounce.



	2005.02.03 11.24 So I'm back at The Hump. I heard some rather unsavory things about Ruli so we're probably going to spend Spring Festival (Chinese New Year) in Kunming. Yesterday Robert became pretty ill; he probably caught the same flu that I caught a few days ago up at Tiger Leaping Gorge. Man was I sick. It was like that cold-hot bone hurting hallucination nightmare sickness. I'm glad it's over - and for the most part, I think Robert is over with it as well. Today I think I'll go back around Xi Shan to explore the fishing village.



	2005.02.01 19.17 Burma Border So last night was kind of cool. I walked home from the internet cafe to find Robert (who left before me). He wasn't in the hotel room, so I went downstairs to this courtyard where these Austrailian, British and Scottish chaps were loudly drinking Gordon's Gin. I asked them "Have you seen a guy that looks like a bum? He has a white collared shirt that hasn't been washed once...let's see...hasn't shaved...probably drunken..." They knew exactly who I was talking about and told me that he left just a bit ago; so I sat down and joined in the conversation and drank some gin. We then toddled off to the local pub and eatery where I drank a few more beers and talked to another English teacher from Austrailia about this and that. The dudes that we were with kind of turned out to be douchbags because when the food came they started yelling at the helpless Chinese waitress who didn't know a speck of English. The guy who I was talking to fortunately spoke fluent Chinese as he'd been studying for 8 years remedied the situation. I don't think he fancied the group too much anyhow. I talked to him today with his rucksack on. He said he was going up north, putting his stuff somewhere, and riding his bicycle up to Russia. That guy is hardcore. I mean hard. It's freezing balls up there right now, and he's taking a tent and some cash and leaving for 6 months. When I went to Tibet I didn't really enjoy being alone. I mean, I'm not scared to be alone, but you kind of just go crazy after awhile. This trip has been the coolest yet. Robert and I have such similar taste in what we want to experience and what we want to avoid... basically we agreed that historical crap was boring and touristy places were shit; we want to experience the local culture and do some hiking but at the end of the day get rowdy and loud with a bunch of foriegners. We've gone a long time since we've talked at a normal pace or ate pizza, so this has been really rad. I don't feel so compelled to be hardcore about trekking and all that - this trip I've just been lazing about enjoying myself. The actual travelling part is stressful. So anyway, the big rowdy group left that place and walked along the canal. The city is really cool because it has crystal clear water running through these small canals filled with goldfish all over the city. People dine and drink along them. The foreigners have a saying that I've heard a lot : Dali is the city westerners go to get ridiculously stoned and Le Jiang is the city Chinese tourists go to party - and I've found it pretty true. These drunken Chinese people were sitting on one side of the canal singing Chinese pop songs loudly; and the other side were yelling back and singing louder. At one point there was a tune that I knew a few words to and I yelled them along and got applauded. I think our side won. We then went into a bar with some girlies dancing and such so I boogied down to Love Shack by the B-52's for about 5 minutes and sat down by this Austrailian guy Brad that I knew from way back in Kunming. The travellers here are really predictable because most follow each other's news about an area, and everyone uses the Lonely Planet China Guidebook. You'll see the same travellers over and over again. I think that's one of the coolest things about Southern Asia - the family of backpackers. So I sit down by Brad and they're gambling or something stupid and start chatting with him. His friend comes back from getting a beer. I asked him, "Do you want me to switch places with you?" Before he could answer this dickhead from the other side of the table said, "You move. He's playing. You are not." So I left that bar and continued down the thin strip of places beside the canal and met up with these awesome Israeli guys that I met a week previous at the Hump. These guys were majorly into hallucinogens - and from what I've taken from the Israeli travellers I've met, Israel is a happening place for nightlife. I know that I'll have to go there at some point because of the amount of it's raddness. So we're talking about politics a bit and the war in Iraq and Bush and all that stuff; I took some pictures, and then we went for kababs. The kabab stands here are off the chain. Most of them are operated by Muslims for some reason. At this point I had already drank too much beer...and of course, the spice calls for more beer and beer calls for more kababs. It's a great cycle. One cool thing came out the experience - Rob and I now have direction. The Israeli guys handed me a flyer and told us it would be off the chain. We're going to the border of Burma for Spring festival. It's gonna be sweet. I went home after kababs and today I, as I type this, have a vicious hangover. This map is the Yunnan Province. I flew into Kunming, then to Dali, now in LiJiang. Tommorow we will go past Luxi to the Burma (Myanmar) border.



	2005.01.31 20.23 Ok then. So back from Tiger Leaping Gorge. From Le Jiang. From Dali. (From Kunming). It's been a while since I've made a post. Let's get down to the technical. I believe in my last post I mentioned Robert and I staying at the Hump, which was full of hippies and stuff. I ended up meeting this girl...Angie...at a bar... I remember asking her "Do you just hang out at bars and hit on foriegners all the time?" Her answer was, of course not, I'm a good Chinese girl yadda yadda yadda. So. This rad dude that we met named Kevin told us that Dali was the place to go, so we bought sleeper train tickets for the next evening. I told my would-be girlfriend Angie about this, which she took as a disappointment even though having a full knowledge that I was a traveller. ~and if I stay here with you girl....things just couldn't be the same...~ Lynyrd Skynyrd So the next day we were lazing around the Hump, reading and so on, and this guy passes me a flyer for his band - SPERMATOAZEUS! Which was really cool because the art was to my taste. The Italian guy that gave me the flyer was the lead singer in this punk quidtuplet. He told me that I could meet the artist if I came to the show.... which was that night. So this is how I played my cards - I cancelled the ticket and booked more for the next day, but didn't tell my 'girlfriend'. Robert and I showed up to the concert at the same bar that Angie and I met - The Speakeasy. Ok.... backstory. I saw a flyer for 'Jam Night' at a local bar. "Bring your instruments! Everyone Welcome!" Sounded rad to me. For anyone who doesn't know me too too well; I enjoy playing music. I mean I REALLY enjoy playing music. If I could wake up in the morning and be surrounded by instruments and musicians and played 12 hours a day, I'd be the happiest Nathan in the world. So we show up at Jam night 30 minutes after the time specified for 'jamming'. There was almost no one there. One guy said that there's basically one band that gets up and plays blues crap all night and once in a while will reluctantly take up a few musicians to play shitty Nirvana covers. I was pretty disappointed. While I was furrowing my brows in a futile attempt to understand the situation I questioned the small trickle of people coming into the bar if they could play music. I was like a desparate snot-nosed junkie looking for a fix. I finally found one dude from I-don't-know-where that could play the guitar. He had similar taste in music (Although the bastard didn't understand the mental importance of Iron Maiden - God spare him) and so I had my first soon-to-be rockstar. I prowled the place and found a bassist; so I guessed I was the drummer - Ok enough. I rushed back to the guitarist and informed him that "We're going on stage to rock people's socks off so put on your finest boots and let's Rock and Roll!" and he looked at me sort of dumbfounded and said "Oh...man... I'm sorry... I don't want to play tonight... I got my beer...just want to take it easy and stuff." I should have known by his influential lack of Iron Maiden that he was a total choad. I was now the junkie that got busted by an undercover cop - jonesing and unable (for the next few months) to get your fix again. Man I was down. Down? I was downright mad! And you know what I do when I get mad kids?? I play darts. Unhappily. I throw and I lob and I try to get the bullseye, but you know what? I'M NO GOOD AT DARTS!! (Keep in mind that this was like 10 days ago and I'm still upset about it) ANYwho. I was playing darts. Robert was having fun drinking his beer. The swine. He lumbered over a few minutes later, "Hey man what are you doing, the party's really cool over there and stuff..." He was hanging out with the Non-Iron Maideins so I wasn't about to join THAT party. We played a game of darts. He impressed me by throwing the dart the hardest I've ever seen it thrown. So hard that it wouldn't even hit the dartboard. So hard that when it hit the wall the dart flew into 4 pieces which had to be reassembled every time. This constant reassembly of darts was just too much for me in this dark hour, so I decided to head on into the back room to the rest of this story that for a second didn't seem to be going anywhere. Angie was in there. Along with her friend and this blonde haired guy. They were all sleeping. I mean, the way that this looked wasn't good already. For one, above the door to this room was a sign that said 'The use of illegal drugs and narcotics are forbidden. Sorry for any Inconvienence' When you walked into the dimly lit room you would find pillows and couches and even a bed in the corner with those lacy curtain things around it. And here's a couple of dudes passed out at a table. I sat down. "What are you guys doing? " I asked. Total Opium Den. They lazily woke and became accustomed to their surroundings, then became fiercely energetic. I sat down by Angie and she, within the first 5 minutes of meeting her, asked if I wanted to play spin the bottle. Being a handsome young foriegner who lives in a horribly conservative part of the country, who, under no circumstance would be flirted with this gingerly said, "Why of course you little tart. I'll play spin the bottle with you." The blonde guy from (Holland?) requested more girls so Angie's friend ran out and pulled in a couple of rough looking Chinese babes and the game began. So with the rest of the night as a mystery to all of you internet perverts, I shall continue with the present account. So I walked in the Speakeasy to see Spermatoazeus. As soon as I walked in I was pulled right toward the stage because of the music. IT was freakin AWESOME. It was like oldschool Butthole Surfers or Le Saavy Fav or some rad band. They were punk, and when you think of punk, you think of shit. You think of loud, and you think of unconceptualized ranting about how much BUSH SUCKS. And everyone will chant HELL YEAH or something retarded - but this was PUNK. It wasn't too loud, and mixed very well. The bassist kept a great rhythm with the drummer - very simpistic. They had two singers, both singing through heavy distortion ala Butthole Surfers one with a SPERMATOAZEUS shirt on and the other was wearing the rather hackneyed swastica with a red cross through it, and the guitarist was just chilling- sitting down and nodding his head slightly. It was really dancable. So much in fact that tons of blokes were just going crazy. Chinese people that had never heard good music before just going nuts. I took tons of pictures - don't worry. But then I joined in. It was the coolest pit I've been in for a long time - probably since my Libyan Hitsquad drunken K&K gigs. Oh yeah. That was funny. Libyan Hitsquad the strait-edge punk rock back with Syd Barrett for a drummer. So anyway, good times, good times. When they ended I was energetic and went up on stage to congraduate the band in the sincerest way possible; made my way through the sweaty crowd to find Robert in front of me saying "Yo dude, Angie's all up on this guy right over there." So that's my experience with the loose good-looking bar skanks of Kunming. Like I said in an earlier post, describing every moment is not quite as futile as it is time consuming, so to quote Maynard from a A Perfect Circle concert I went to a ways back "Tonight... this moment... is very special for us... and very special to many of you... and when you're busy taking pictures..snap snap snap; you're missing the moment." - To use pictures as a metaphor for the journal entries. I'll post about Dali and the crazy old villager women that come up to you with necklaces and cheap jewelry saying "Looky Looky" then with a lower tone "smoka ganja!" later... because right now, I'm sitting in an internet cafe at 8:16, and my night for tonight is beginning. Oh yes, one more shout out to my RAD sister whose birthday was just two days ago. Sorry I couldn't call, but I'll try tonight. Peace from the East.



	2005.01.22 17.30 Hippies and Santa Cruz (Without America) Wow. So the city has thoroughly captivated me. After learning that there was a better hostel to stay in, Robert and I moved from Camillia to The Hump. It is a total hippie community. It's fantastic. Just about every person you talk to is very intellectual, with many stories to tell. I feel very magnetic on this trip. My last trip to Tibet I felt very introverted, and hardly made any friends. People are drawn to me here; strike up a conversation about this and that, and I'm a big listener. I've noticed that keeping to yourself, being honest, and staying true to your personal priorities have an amazing gravity to bring people toward you. Yesterday I was lounging about on the couches of the Hump; there is a beautiful terrace with sunshine and plants and pillows everywhere. Yunnan is different from the north. The user of ganja is much more open and permitted, so here and there you'll see travellers toking up. Like Pico Iyer said, I'm not a major supporter of the drug culture, but it seems as if the areas in the world that accept it are more open minded and relaxed. The people of Kunming it seems are more artsy. Tonight Robert and I are going to that punk concert (I think the band is called "Spermazoba") I was telling you about last post. Ok. I will be honest with you now. I haven't had so much of a desire to keep up with these posts lately because of how intense the feeling of being here really is. What I mean, is that every second, I feel completely satuarated with this indescribable feeling of exploring this new society and having my mind being opened by so many people; and it's just impossible to write even a bit of how I feel. What I know, however, is that YOU NEED TO COME HERE. Come to Southern Asia. Just do it. No questions asked, just go. I give you Nathan's Promise that it will be an intensly wonderful experience. So let's see; the nightlife here is neverending. I have had a great time just going out to bars, having a few drinks, and talking and talking and talking with people. Like I said; just about everyone I meet is completely worthwhile to talk to. It seems like there's a definate Japanese influence in the local counter-culture. The girls here have that Japan flair to their threads (wild hair, bright colors, crazy shoes and japanime make-up). As far as sightseeing goes, the first morning that Rob and I awoke, we went downstairs to sample some of the local coffee (it's excellent) and we met a dude that we talked to the night before. He told us that he was going up into the mountains (Xi Shan) where this cool scenery was. We jumped on a bus (No. 5), got on another minibus, and made our way through the curvy mountain road. The landscape is IDENTICAL to Santa Cruz California without the redwoods. So amazing. The bus trip was well worth 5 yuan. It took us past this small fishing village on a lake, and into the mountains where it dropped us off. We hiked from there past touristy vendors and trees. The walk was against a cliff overlooking the lake about 2400 meters up. Pictures as soon as I return to Taiyuan.



	2005.01.18 00.41 Kunming Robert and I just arrived in Kunming a few hours ago after a nice flight across the country. The city is considered "Spring City" meaning that it's weather is mild all year round. It trully is beautiful here. There seems to be much more culture than the north of China. Having been here only a few hours I have seen numerous advertisements for independent music, ate great pizza, and saw a drum circle. Getting to our flight wasn't easy, however. We stayed up until like 6:00 am and woke at 9:00. I felt as if I've been in a dream all day. Some of these things I coved mildly; the waking dreams and such. I have these moments where I will begin to 'space out' with a long stare, and the surroundings will start to resemble another 'dream' situation. Weird. So tommorow I will have a longer update of my travels as my thoughts are becoming nonsensical at this point.



	2005.01.14 15.52 Ahoy Ok so I've got some Tibet pictures up. Sorry they're not color corrected and a lot of them are blurry. I decided to leave just about every photo I took, because everyone's opinions are different. If you would like to read the stories along with them, the stories start in 8/08/04 I have lost all of my viewing audience. I don't even think my parents read this any more. I need to start talking about more physical things or I'll lose the last strands of weirdos and good good friends that I have reading this page. I had a girl email me that read, "Nathan, I think we have a lot in common and stuff" I went to her page and it was filled with this bogus poetry: The lamplights scream but who is looking? Are we looking? The lamp isn't looking! Give me the key! The key to the moon! I'll unlock it for you and stuff. So that's the audience I think I'm catering to right now. Well dudes, go check out my pictures and leave a comment. You guys are rad and stuff.



	2005.01.11 03.00 Coserghtionion So, my apologies. I may have overreacted about this gall thing. For some reason I mixed up gall and kidney stones. It made me think though. The food here isn't the 3 avocadoes a day with a fresh green salad as I was used to eating in Los Angeles. Chinese food is pretty bloody unhealthy. I have to request no MSG and oil every time I eat; which they oftentimes assume is a joke, and my food comes with a delicious assortment of toxins notwithstanding. Let's see... any updates? I suppose not. My website went back online so my galleries are back online. Hmmm... tommorow perhaps, I'll post some pictures of my recent adventures and some shots from Tibet. Sorry I've fallen out of updating this journal. It seems as if I've begun to hibernate; such as a bear might. I'm consistently sleeping much longer than I should. Today I woke to a dream. When I looked at the ceiling, there were images and faces in it. I rolled over slightly with my face down by the pillow and began seeing situations in the fabric. I got up and half-heartedly did yoga; took a shower. I went for a walkabout to the Monday Market down the street which sells fresh produce. I think that I was suffering from temporary agoraphobia because the people were all so loud and what they said didn't make any sense. I have a conscious feeling of being unconscious. I bought a delightful little trout which I ate tonight for dinner. I ate his little eyes and everything. I needed the Omega 3s. He became my friend in the short time that I knew him. Now he's become me and I see through the life of a fish swaying bobbing looking confused-like around for the predator is right behind. The cartoon is nearly done. I've got a few minutes of animation left to do. I need to learn flash. The way that I'm making it is really ghetto. Pictures soon.



	2005.01.06 21.53 Trouble in Paradise So I went to the doctor yesterday. It's the funniest story, it really is. I needed to get a physical examination for the annual reevaluation of my visa. So Feng calls me at 8:00 in the morning (a grotesque hour for me) and tells me he's waiting downstairs in a car ready to leave for my exam. They certainly don't believe in appointments here. So I stumbled down the stairs and got into the Land Rover. We arrived at the doctors and I filled out the necessary paperwork. After my chest was x-rayed and my weight and measurements were taken, they took blood (I still have a bruise on my arm from when the nurse, curse her name, sent the needle on a journey around my vein trying to find blood. She must have been a street fruit saleswoman by night... ) So I go into a room where they pulled up my shirt and lubed up my stomach for an ultrasound. I told the lady that I didn't think I was pregnant, a joke which she fancied. What was even more funny was when she told me I had a Gall Stone. Yep. I have a gall stone. I either have to have an operation where they make a small incision on my belly and insert a ultrasonic vibrator/vacuum tube to get it out, or, the perhaps more unpleasant way, I pee it out. Folks, I don't want to pee out pee let alone a little bilirubin piece of crap. So anyway, that's my brave story. To email me suggestions about making peeing out a gall stone more fun, NathanHallGenius@Yahoo.com Until next time, -N-



	2004.12.31 10.04 Tsunami The death toll for this catastrophe is supposed to pass 100,000. It's crazy. I feel as though I should do something, so Robert and I have been looking into going down south for our winter break and volunteering for Unicef. So far, no one (out of the 9 people I've emailed) has been any help. I don't really want to donate any money because those organizations take so much off the top for campaigning and lobbying and lawyers. I'm going to the doctor in about 30 minutes to get my inoculations in case we do decide to go down there. On a lighter note, Happy New Year and stuff. I will be in 2005 before you so if you would like, you can call me (011-86-351-392-3939)and I'll tell you how it is. I hope this year will be red. In the 30's and 40's it was pretty cool all black and white, but I think the 80's and 90's colors were really boring. So that's it for me. See you in the future. -N-



	2004.12.25 17.16 Chinamas So Chinese people celebrate Christmas. It seems as if they took the parts of Christmas that we both love and hate (Santa Claus, presents, commercialism, drinking) and threw out all of the God stuff. I'm unsure about the relevance of the holiday without God, but at the same time I don't quite enjoy dogmatic prayer and separationalism; so I'm undecided. I had a party at my house. It was kind of fun. Mostly girls showed up, which seems like fun, but it was really boring. They don't drink and constantly interview westerners about life for their own curricular benefits and disguise it as pleasant philosophy. "What do you think about life?" "Uggghghhh... Well, I'm living. Do you want a beer?" "No I don't drink" "Uggghghhh..." Nevertheless it was kind of fun. I made peanut butter celery sticks that did well. That was the highlight of the party for many people. I showed them some pictures of the folks back home; showed them what a fun party looks like. There was a photo session showing these tattooed dudes making absinthe that frightened them: It's probably going to knock back my reputation for being a noble gentleman a few notches though. When the people went back to their dorms I was left with a good friend of mine from downtown. His name is Dan. We played a bit of Grand Theft Auto while discussing philosophy. A perfect match. At about 2:00 am we decided to go for a walkabout; did some fence-jumping through the campus and climbed up the mountain. It was beautiful up there. The pine trees are now snow-covered and the city looked like a distant dream. Some things we discussed: The relevance of your earthly actions; in juxtaposition with everything that has already been created. i.e. The pyramids. We came to the conclusion that one man's (or woman's) actions are completely reliant on those who support you. Nothing so great could have been created by one person - which leaves the ponderer to think about your effect on everyone else's life, regardless of how small. The common example being, of course, waving and smiling to someone on the street. It makes a difference. Lately it seems that these concepts are just rehashed - things I have already thought about by the time I was 15. This is the reason I don't enjoy being interviewed by this language scholars about simple crappy ideologies. "Yes, you should think with an open mind. Yes, you should treat others as you would like to be treated. Yes, I think that pollution is a serious problem." As soon as I start talking about the shadow, however, their interest wanes. So that's it for me. Merry Christmas. Remember that this is the time that your life starts coming around full circle. Think about how you can not only improve your own life, but the lives around you. Think Positive. -N-



	2004.12.23 03.31 I see... So I guess my last entry was never published. What a bummer... the secrets to the end of the rainbow exposed through the forest of the trees... not to mention details of my magnificent birthday party (12/8). So anywho, to sum it all up, it was a great time to everyone who was exposed. A hot pot restaurant - Nathan drinking a bit too much beer - ending the night with Robert cracking a bottle over his head to bemused onlookers - a great night. Pity I don't remember half of it. So, the news as it is developing: I am scheduled to play for a party on Christmas day with my new band - Nathan Hall and the Chinks. It should be really cool. I met this great group of musicians that live in a sort of commune together with a rock studio set up in their living room. Their apartment has 3 bedrooms with 7 people living in it - paying 400 yuan (48 dollars) a month. These guys know how to rock and roll. I introduced them to Tool, the Butthole Surfers, Opeth, and Iron Maiden; so they are digging some new grooves as well. The thing is, they're really (technically) good at music, but they do dorky things like read from sheet music and listen to Guns and Roses. When I showed them Iron Maiden they told me that it sounded like AC/DC, which I believe is a carnal sin in modern Christianity. The news of the future - TODAY: Robert and I are taking a trip down south, possibly hitting Laos and Vietnam. We were thinking about Cambodia as well but were turned off by the rampant foreigner slayings going on. I'm sure that if we were to slay a few dudes they would consider us the Alpha Cambodians, but Robert wasn't about to take chances. It snowed last night and has been beautiful ever since. There was a massive MASSIVE snowball fight on campus today. The screams of war were deafening throughout the university as students clamored for rank in what was believed to be the LARGEST snowball fight in history. Man these guys don't screw around. The snowmen they make here are a little queer too... instead of rolling the snowball and accumulating more snow to make a bigger snowball they just shovel a great big pile, pat it down and add the face. Out of the 15 or so snowmen I saw today (which are called ShuiRen) half of them had a cigarette hanging out of their mouths. (One had a bottle of liquor). I set up another 6 month contract with the school today, finalizing my decision to stay in the north a bit longer. Soon enough, however, after Nathan Hall and the Chinks decide to go separate ways, Robert and I will probably move down south. We'll do some research and figure out where to go from there. Catch you all on the flipside; Nathan



	2004.12.07 02.12 A Concert Promoting my Death So, my fine livejournalists, I have a bit of a story to tell. This evening I performed in front of the largest audience that's graced my life. Man was it cool. I was going home on the road down and met a friend of mine. He was saying that there's a concert soon and that I'm wanted to play. "When is it?" "Two days" "Alright then I'll do it" "What will you be playing?" "I don't know" "You don't know?" "Of course not but it's bound to be cool" "Well the Dean says that in order to play you need...." "Screw the Dean" Lousy Dean. What has he ever done for us other than make college life a bit more structured? Hey man, I'm a child of the 80's - the Dean is the mortal enemy of any non-square... you dig? So I began my preparation for the concert that evening. Another noteworthy mention is the fact I gave a lecture to the largest group I've ever taught last Friday. More than a hundred folks showed up. It was on Etymology (the history of the English language). Robert and I did it together - and it went off without a hitch. One xenophobe did stand up and start ranting about Mandarin slowing becoming the dominant language of the world, but that's a different, more intense story. Folks, I created the most badass power-point presentation of all time. It was great. It had over 2000 years of history crammed into a two hour presentation; with pictures and cartoons drawn by mysself. If you'd like you can email me (nathanhallgenius@yahoo.com) and I'll send you the power point file (.ppt) So I wrote my song about the devestation of imagination and obliteration of the dreamer in this modern world. It was called "Carl Jung was correct when he said that 'The only way to get to Heaven is by exploring your own Shadow". I'm quite sure that Jung never actually said that, but it makes for a great history re-write. So I practiced my buns off for two days perfecting and re-organizing this song. I wanted to make it palatable to both Chinese and English speakers. Here are the lyrics: (notice the beginning is simplified and somewhat in jest) There's a place I like to go to sometimes, There's always tree's a-growin' inside, there's beautiful people, and everyone's a friend, there's nothing wrong, and nothing, ever ends, oh no, I wish I could go there, to that place I was before, I wish we could go there, But someone locked the door and threw away the key, for good, (Guitar solo that puts the audience into a REM state) Outside the air is getting cold, and we don't remember, that place we were before, But someone is calling, someones...Call-Ing my name, someone is calling, and it's Me, me oh it's me, I wish I could go there, to that place I was before, Please just let me in, I promise I won't lock the door this time around (Now the REM (Rapid Eye Movement) guitar solo progresses until I rise to a crescendo where I start singing in a drone) I saw myself, Flying away, There was nothing, Here, At all. With inward glance, He, stole away, Until, one day, he, was gone. The Figure follows, transfix my name, under the ocean, I will be. It ends with the most beautiful D major, bringing you once again to life. Tonight I played the song. In front of 1000 people. I think people genuinely liked it. I hope that the meaning didn't slip over too many heads though... I did meet this really cool band that wants to jam with me now; they liked my song a lot... and at rehearsal I jammed with the drummer and sang some wacky tunes. Real Horrorshow. Any questions you would like to further inquire about can be brought up with my secretary at NathanhallGenius@Yahoo.com p.s. I'm not really a genius I just pretend to be one.



	2004.11.26 01.14 My name is Nathan and I'm an Ex-Pat So here and there I've been thinking a lot. I've had a lot of time lately. Spacing myself far and away from those specks of sand revolving around my life hither and thither. I am but a clam basking in the indifference of people about. I walk, and walk in strides. Past and past. A rolling stone gathers no moss but who wants to be covered in a slimy parasitic plant? Not this entity, I'll tell you what. So I've been writing music lately. I bought a bass guitar and have been jammin' it up in my lonesome apartment - writing songs about figurines and box car massacres - supped up supporters of the neo-revolution...you jive? Anywho, I'm alive. It snowed yesterday. It's the first time that I've seen snow in a while. It came down and darked the day until it was a beautiful flow seen only in the streetlights. There seems to be, lately, a dark glow that I know nothing about surrounding me; an ambiguous karmatic shadow. I've felt this before. Deja-Vu? Hardly likely... I haven't seen the likes of that great paroxysm since 6th grade (or was it 9th grade?). Hard to put my finger on nonetheless. Maybe it has something to do with the weather. Better stay away from people for a while. Everyone is crazy.



	2004.11.16 02.45 Nothing at All. Here I am now understand that I'm still here much as much further from everything as I always seemed to be. I hope that you can go where you can go and you'll find that there's another day waiting for you at the end of this one; stretching it's limps up towards the sky following the only thing it's ever been taught through and through and through. Down and down and down. My only conviction living inside the only and only one that I can is burning like an evervescent dream and it feels like a journey down the stairs until you reach the inside of last standing society, fluttering as it goes. The lights will follow you as you go out; inside. I will recognize with no comment as I'm sure you must do. I will stream and hold into this last as I'm sure the reasons will allow. It's all downhill from here. Through and through.



	2004.11.11 19.20 Russians, Parties, and a Big Ol' Cakefight So there I was, my friends, in the middle of a influenza, coughing up this and that. I found myself in a fleamarket-sized drugstore in downtown Taiyuan. I needed something for these accute symptoms and needed something fast. After some wandering of the great aisles I came to a shelf of cough syrups. Dextromethorphan ...this looks nice. I seem to remember something about this in Eckerd's or Wallgreens. I bought myself a little bottle of the substance and made my way back to work on the Sunday afternoon slumsday. Deciding it wouldn't be the best idea to take this crap before class I waited until the day was drawing to a close and sipped some of it down. About 45 minutes later the coughing and cold persisted - and drank a bit more. By the time I knew better, I had drank the whole darned bottle. After returning to our apartment Robert was just sitting down to watch an insect documentary that he purchased from one of those pirate DVD shops. I sat down and indulged myself in the fantasy of being one of those little critters; bobbing, weaving, flying this way and that. The craziest part about being a bug is all the colors that you see. Much more than the average human spectrum. Noticing that I was, in fact, not a bug, I took a glance at Robert to discover that I was hallucinating quite strongly. At least my symptoms of illness had disapeared - completely. Corey came in announcing that he was going to go to a dance club. Being the end of a long week, with no class until 2:30 the next day, I figured it would be a grand idea to join him on this adventure. By the time I was in a taxi heading down the brilliant night streets accompanied by some merry individuals of our household I had the feeling that I was yet to understand the profundity of this intoxication. Now, I'm not saying as if I wanted this beforehand...I merely needed this illness masked and done away with - but after logic and standard consciousness dwindled away - I did feel right as rain. The taxi parked as I strolled out, blinkly dazed. Where was this place? KISS Disco? What planet am I on? The front of the establishment was rowed with neon lights and hanging string lights, with a great big platform for flowers; dying in this autumn breeze. Dancing is a strange thing. Especially to the onlookers of my unique performance of the evening. A great big circle formed around me with chants and such, but I felt as though I needed some water for my hunched over and panting body so I went to the bar and requested some "Cai Shui" and drank down four or five and handed the Dude 4 yuan. Tips are an odd concept to Chinese people, and they'll usually reject them, but it seems as if this place may have had some foriegn visitors because my money was not turned away. I went to put my brand new sweater that I bought that day in the lockers. It reminded me of the Tool video "Prison Sex" because, as far as the eye can see there were perfect little cubes. I looked this way and that, and, deciding that I had reached a paraxysm of experience on the dancefloor, tried my luck outside for some. I went down down down the escalators to the entrance where I promptly sat on the plant platform just staring and sitting. I was unconsciously meditating in an erect manner, and almost dreaming. You know that state of being between dreams and finding something important only to be disturbed by a gentleman with a nightstick and walkie talkie? Well, it happens. So I spurt poety as wide as the night at his misconstued eyes. The feelings are going dead because of your lack of consideration for the walking dead tonight sir! The ways have come so far as to be remutilated by this swarm of unantiquated cocophony! (I stood up. The string lights were all around my head. It was like putting my head up through the sea into the sky) The fields stretch further than you could ever know from up here, sir. (I peered down at him with some bewitched eyes) And he knows the history that I could never! (and leaped down to the ground, abandoning his unfriendly plant platform) And the World Continues! I went back upstairs and tried to find Robert and the boys. I couldn't seem to locate anything remotely resembling the club that I had previously entered! What is this place? There was a long catwalk with weird side-rooms and all the lights were looking at me through relaxed bulbs. Suddenly I caught sight of something fantastic! Amazing! Irresistable! It was a rock band surrounded by groupies taking press photos! How is this happening? They weren't Chinese, that's for sure... who are these people? Do I know them? All of a sudden.......CAKEFIGHT! Cake being thrown through the air and heads turning. The cake-covered groupies scattering wildly through the club, giggling. Am I still on that platform or did the security guard really send me back up to some mystical unknown place where rockstars and groupies have cakefights? I came to the nearest westerner and asked him if I was dreaming. He didn't really understand the situation as I did because he seemed perplexed by the inquisition. As he was furrowing his brows in a vain attempt to understand, another, more Asianic man came up to us. He was covered in cake. I outstreched my hand to his and shoke it, getting my own hands in this sweet goo. He laughed and then got me good in the face with a large amount of it. I was now connected. Whatever reality this was, I was surely a part of it now. We went to the sink area. There was a long row of sinks with random groupies, scantily clad, washing the sin of cake from their faces. They all looked like Moulin Rouge dancers... and all very very attractive. The situation after some time, finally came to me. My cake-brother that I shook hands with was a guitar player from Japan. He was here playing in a rock band. It was his friend's (the bass player) birthday. It just so happened that another guy had a birthday that evening as well - the organizer and promoter for the club's entertainment - dancers from Moscow (the groupies)! I was invited to sit at the table with the Japanese guy and his crew. They were drinking wine and gave me a glass and started to tell me about themselves and their music. I was looking around for those dancer chicks but I couldn't spot them. Had they vanished? A few glasses of vino later and the concert promoter guy sat down with us, ajacent to myself. "Would you like to come meet my friends?" He asked. I followed him back into a room that was filled with Moscow dancer girls. They told me to sit down and gave me some beer and all that. I was having a nice converstation with this one blond when the promoter apologized for having to lead me out - the gals had to get changed. Wow wow wow I thought. I sat down at the band's table again. These guys were suprisingly tired and shagged. One of them was asleep. The Japanese guy confided in me then. "You know...I'm Japanese," he said with a tear in his eye. "I like Chinese people. I like China..." He was obviosly reacting to the staunchly negative attitude towards Japanese people in China because of the whole war and massacre thing back in the 40's. "You know man, people are people, and pretty soon, you'll begin to be respected if you just keep up your..." Blah blah blah I continued... So he invited me to this party. An afterparty sort of thing. I felt sort of retarded leaving all of those Russian model-types just waiting around... longing... but situations were just situations. I learned this a while ago - don't try and milk a situation for it's excitment. Desperatlely trying to find the 'holy' moment will only leave you unsatisfied. You gotta go with it. So I went. (A free dinner is always cool, too.) So we ate and drank and drank and ate. The dudes showed me some of their music and I chatted with them. They said they liked Rock and Roll (like Skid Row) but they had never heard of Iron Maiden! Oh hideous tortured souls! So I'm burning them some tunes to give them this weekend. We're going to jam. I hope they can hold a tune. So who should walk in but Mr. Russian and his troop of Russians. What a great moment! And the Band was leaving too! I was pawned off onto the Girls! As they had settled into a comfortable sit, musing about this and that, I began feeling at home. They weren't anxious or desperate or weird. They were just perfectly, awesomely, normal. Their sense of humor was very dry and witty; the gals would toss their heads back or roll their eyes with a nice smile. And the drinking began. I cannot begin to write about all the details of our hours-long converstaion - because it was just people; eating, drinking and talking. It seemed like we were just patiently waiting to die - but in a pleasant manner. I seemed to have found a home in this. At the end of the night, the promoter guy (I still don't know his name) announced that we were now friends. I told him that I'd go back next week to see the performance. At 6:00 am I finally departed in the revealing pale morninglight, wandering the streets to find a taxi. I was relishing in the experiences, letting them sink in, comforting me. I was alone. Always passing by, always leaving and entering and forgetting and learning. When and Where and however. This is fine by me.



	2004.11.06 23.17 Falling Apart My apartment is fully moved in now. I've got some crazy plans about making a platform out on one of the balconies so when you sit you're at window level with some afgan pillows and such - a real love nest. I want to paint a bunch of psychedelic paintings and put them all over the house with great big 60's bubble letters that say HATE or FEAR. I also want to close off sections of the house with cloth and make it really claustraphobic. I've got a kitchen now - I can make tea and almond drink as of now. I've yet to get a gas cooker. Lets see... what else... Tomorrow I have to wake up at like 5:00 in the morning to go pick up my friend from the train station.... then work another 12 hours. My God my weekends are like the Salt Mines. I'll be lucky if I don't get the black lung. Tired for now... Nathan Douglass (Danger) Hall



	2004.11.06 19.38 My God... Ok so Bush is the president....again. I think that it's safe to say that 51% of the American population are retarded. It's bloody doublethink for Chrissakes... doesn't anyone know this? Do you enjoy throwing your money into a fatalistic machine gradually pushing it's way toward a downfall not unlike Rome or England's eventual end? I feel as though I've been taking crazy-pills. Anyway, I typed an incredibly horrible post that got deleted mysteriously. I despise Stephen Hawking's "paradox" of the universe and wish it to hell forever and ever. So, Mr. Paradox, I'm not typing the same post again. I'm typing a nice one that doesn't mention any elicit plans for assasinating a certain vice-president. Damnit. Anyway; I'm good. My classes are going well. My kids are healthy and impressionable and my values (because I'm American) have degraded to fundamentalist fuedalism - which most certainly rub off because I'm so very very American and handsome and James Deanesque. I'm staying in China (or anywhere outside of the US for that matter) for a minimum of 4 years. I don't quite take the idea well of giving tax money to fund murdering random Middle-Easterns for an oil company's profit. I know that it sounds like bleeding-heart liberal bullshit because it is. Saddamn Hussein was a major threat you know, what with the bombs and all. He was co-operating with the Taliban - and the information that the government's NOT telling us is that Saddamn Hussien actually PAID Al-Quita to execute the 9/11 attacks. The government (referring to it as a singular object makes me appear as though I know what I'm talking about) actually has a secret plan to mass-produce hydrogen fuel-cell powered cars in the near future to eliminate the oil competetors once and for all and bring peace to the middle east. Hell, with all the money made from our American-Engineer-Brand technology, we can start freeing countries not from the desparaging totalitartian-led lives, but from hunger with simple shipments of food. It's the basis of all society, you know. Man, I wished I'd thought of it first. Anyway, remember to keep dreaming.



	2004.10.24 22.43 New Nathan When Kevin and Vivian got married, I bought a tailored suit and combed my hair all nicelike. I got such a positive response from this that I started dressing and acting like this all the time. This is my latest schtick. I've come to realize that, if you look rich, people treat you better; and if you're a skilled conversationalist as I am, actual work becomes unneccesary. In the last 2 weeks I've been told I was handsome about 100 times. It's a great way to get all the negative attention I want without looking desperate for it. I recently bought a pair of suspenders, some ties and dress pants. I plan to put all kinds of crazy art on my walls too; which will juxtapose classicalism and modernism. Someone once wrote about Salvador Dali saying, "He has his feet firmly rooted into the ground with his antennas always out in the sky."



	2004.10.19 00.44 Employment Quantity as Fast Paid So my fast paid off. On my third day I was subsequently taken to a job interview. Because of my fine new haircut and beaming psychic energy Robert and I were immediately hired whereby quadrupling our monthly salary. Instead of just one fine pad we now have two: one in the countryside and one in the city. The apartment is the coolest; it’s a three story deal with cathedral ceilings on the third floor (where I stay) and heat lamps in the bathroom. This past weekend Robert, Cory (a cool teacher from our original school) and I bunkered down and taught 12 hours. The kids are really awesome and very knowledgeable in the language. I mean, there’s little dudes that are 8 years old that can hold down a decent conversation. With some of my higher classes I’m talking about progress of the last century and cosmology and such. Apparently scientific progress became inert at around the same time Mao Zedong exterminated 3 million ‘enemies’ of the Revolution, including doctors, scientists, teachers, and monks…so it was interesting to talk about that time period. Shifting towards these conversations is usually because of my interest. I mean, it’s all one-sided: I let the students do the talking and just agree with everything. I never let my personal ‘capitalist pig’ opinions slip; although it’s hard when college students talk about the incident in Tiananmen square as a termination of “evil” people that was well deserved. Well, when in Rome. So our classes at the college here are successful as well; we’re actually teaching teachers. They’re about a billion times more intelligent than I am, making it just as profitable for me to teach them as them to learn. The deal is that they are PHD holders and well respected, and have a chance to travel abroad for business, but their English is a bit poor. My method concentrates heavily on speaking, listening and actually thinking, English. The problem is that their grammar and written interpretation is excellent, but they’ve never actually spoke the language within the thought process. I usually arrange the desks in a big circle and rattle off topics for them to discuss; usually delving into their chosen professions; giving me all the knowledge I could ask for about laser diodes and molecular biology. Oftentimes the classes are so small that Robert (who has the same schedule as me and teaches one floor above) comes down to join me and we both talk about American crap like the Boston Tea Party and Native Americans. They all had a great time with one of Robert’s anecdotes about modern Native Americans being filthy rich because of no taxes, monthly government imbursement, and their quantity of casinos. They seem either indifferent to the fact that Indians were once Chinese or in disbelief. It seems like one of those topics that, when you bring it up, there’s this switch that clicks in their heads, and they are unable to show any interest. I think it was maybe one of those undiscussable topics in high school where the teacher used an effective Jedi Mind Trick. Either that or sodium penethol and a movie where they keep your glazzies open with hooks. Anywho, I’m doing infinitely well. I miss everyone that’s reading this, however. More than you would know. Keep it fly in the West and I'll try and do the same here. Be sure to email me once and a while - or post comments. Peace.



	2004.10.08 03.33 The Frost of Autumn Arrives The cold is coming and I'm starting a three day (possibly more?) fast. I'm assuming that my readers are intelligent enough to know the medicinal and spiritual benefits to this activity. I'll keep you posted about the stages or feelings I go through. Normally after about the second day ketones start emerging from the throat as the oral digestive system shuts down. You can start to feel your processes neutalizing. By the third day your mind starts mutating and releasing stored (but not often used) amino acids and neuro-transmitters. Mild hallucinations of phosphenes and altered light will transpire due to the increase of your senses. At this point you have no desire to eat.... but this is all based on past experince. Tommorow is a new day and a new phosphene.

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